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  • James McNeil

How to stop worrying what others think of you

“You should stop worrying about what others think of you.”

This is excellent advice, but it falls short in explaining just how to stop worrying about what others think of you (me). So how do we do it? How do we position ourselves in a place where we aren’t concerned with the way other people see us? Here are a few things to remember on the journey to independent self-perception.


1. People usually aren’t thinking negatively about you. They aren’t thinking about you at all, honestly. This may sound harsh, but it’s actually good news. When you just met someone for the first time, you are most likely trying to make a good impression. And if the person you just met doesn’t give the “vibes” that you did so, you (and I) tend to worry. “They don’t like me?” we wonder. Meanwhile, that person could be distracted with thoughts of work, school, home life, bills, or any of a number of other things. Their reaction is not necessarily a judgment on you.

2. You are not perfect, and you should not try to be perceived as perfect. During my first semester back in college, I failed a class. I had to admit that it was 100% me although some others in the class said the teacher taught too fast and didn’t give us the chance to ask questions among other complaints. But after that failing grade (which I did not hide), I began to realize that my fellow students were struggling with their own classes too much to judge me for a failing grade. One offered to help the next time I took the class, but nobody seemed to look at me as a failure. I didn’t have to be perfect to be accepted. On a side note, that was one of the biggest indicators that I had found a true family.

3. Accept that some people won’t like you. And that’s okay. Malcom X once said, “If you have no critics, you’ll likely have no success.” So the idea that some people just won’t like you is normal. Do not obsess with winning them over. Stay close to those who love you and don’t worry about those who don’t like you.

Do you worry about what others think of you? Do you use any of these tips to help deal with that? Do you have any to add? Comment below or send an email to info@jamesmcneilauthor.com today where you can pick up your own copy of Finding Your Personal Mission or your own wearable motivation provided by our friends at Really? Designs.

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