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  • James McNeil

How loving yourself can make all the difference.

“You know what you need? You just need to love yourself more!”

When this advice was given to me, I honestly thought it was ridiculous. “Of course, I love myself,” I thought. But then the friend who told me that seemingly crazy statement gave a few examples of why I did not love myself at all. This list was hard for me to hear, much less write. But everything he said was true, and it gave me something to think about.


1. When you tear yourself down, it’s a sign you don’t love yourself. This is something I still do, and while I can say it’s a joke, it’s still tearing myself down. When I mess up with doing something, my go to joke is, “I’m an idiot.” But is that true? Last year, I graduated from a prestigious university with a bachelor’s degree. I graduated with high honors, and I am looking at returning for the master’s degree program. While it’s true I can make bad decisions, that just comes with being human. That describes all of us. I had to learn to stop saying things like that and I am working to replace “I’m an idiot” with a more constructive phrase. Any suggestions would be welcome.

2. When you refuse to let yourself be happy, it’s another sign. I am constantly on the road of self-improvement. This is a very good thing because this is a sign that you do love yourself. But when you don’t take time to enjoy the victories you’ve achieved, that shows the opposite. Remember, you’ve got a lifetime to pursue your goal. When you hit a milestone, take a moment and celebrate a little. There’s nothing wrong with it.

3. When you are afraid to dream big, this is another sign of self dislike. I do occasionally dream big, but then I tend to justify my dreams by talking about how hard I know it will be to get there. This kind of self-sabotaging comes from a lack of belief in yourself and your ability to get there. Of course, it will be a challenge. I twouldn’t be a big goal without a big challenge. But let yourself dream a little bit.

Do you honestly love yourself? Or do you see yourself in one or more of these? These can lead to anxiety, depression, and stress.

If you’d like to read more about this, please go to jamesmcneilauthor.com today and read more blog posts about how you can truly love yourself again and overcome this obstacle that can lead to suicidal thoughts and ideations. While you’re at it, pick up your own copy of Finding Your Personal Mission today as well as a way to wear your own motivation, all at jamesmcneilauthor.com.

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